Let go
by Delekhan Silversword
Summary: PG for kissing, nothin perverted. This is bout Harry Hermione, with Ron's angst. Ron admits his feelings to Harry, Harry gets the girl anyway. R/R and i love flames as well! Get criticising peoples! the third and last chapter is up! Weird ending.
1. The Truth Hurts

Let go  
  
Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to JK, none of its mine, yada, yada, yada...  
  
Comments: My first fic! Plz review, and remember, flames keep me lovely toasty warm, so keep on flaming me peeps! Anyhoo, this is H/Hr with Ron angst, but don't get the wrong idea. I am an avid r\hr shipper, its just that I felt Ron would be more jealous of harry than harry would of ron, if one of them got the girl.no goddess HERMIONE GRANGER!!! *sigh* Anyway, read and enjoy!  
  
Chapitre Un  
  
A kiss. That's all it was. Incredible how something so insignificant and trivial could blow someone's heart into pieces. Watching in horror, Ron shed silent tears. He was the reluctant and delusionally frenzied spectator of his best friend snogging the..the girl he loved more than life itself. He exercised every iota of self control he possessed to keep from screaming out in anguish and suffering. An animal-like rage coursed throughout his body, in dark contrast to peace and quiet of the Hogwarts library. He had confessed to Harry in letters over the summer that he did indeed have feelings for Hermione. However, in Harry's replies the subject was never broached, and even on the Hogwarts Express, when (Hermione had gone to visit Ginny in another compartment) he had attempted to talk to Harry about it, Harry had gone (oddly) temporarily deaf and changed the subject again. Ron had been wondering for a long time at his friend's reluctance to discuss the topic and the kiss he was witnessing between Harry and Hermione had just proved to be the most crushing answer to his question: Harry fancied Hermione as well.  
  
How could this happen to me? Ron thought incessantly to himself, backing out of the library slowly, to the surprised and embarrassed glances of Harry and Hermione. How could I fall in love with a girl and watch her fall in love with my best friend? His thoughts and pondering were ended with another dose of blind rage and self pity. Harry Potter. It all came back to him. Harry Potter, the boy who lived. Harry Potter the boy with the fortune of a lifetime. Harry potter the legendary Quidditch player, prefect and aspiring head boy. Harry Potter, Dumbledore's favourite. And Harry Potter. The person that Hermione fell for, over Ron. He had everything, fame, fortune, looks, intelligence, and now, now he had..he had...Hermione. Ron thought bitterly to himself. Who am I? The truth came to him. The 6th Weasley, the unknown fool, the poor one, the one who pined over a girl who never loved him. Ron Weasley, he contemplated, a cynical smile twisting his face, Harry Potter's sidekick. He went up to the boys dormitory and threw himself into his four poster and stared up at the ceiling. But there were no tears. Oh no. He was much beyond that. His grief was too much, too much for tears to wash away. He lay there, for about an hour, thinking about how he had nothing to live for, when he heard Harry come up to the dorm. 


	2. Confrontation

Let go  
  
Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to JK, none of its mine, yada, yada, yada...  
  
Comments: My first fic! Plz review, and remember, flames keep me lovely toasty warm, so keep on flaming me peeps! Anyhoo, this is H/Hr with Ron angst, but don't get the wrong idea. I am an avid r\hr shipper, it's just that I felt Ron would be more jealous of harry than harry would of ron, if one of them got the girl.no goddess HERMIONE GRANGER!!! *sigh* Anyway, read and enjoy! Chapter 2 is all about Ron trying to destroy Harry. Thank u to my reviewers and to everyone else, plz review, even if it is to pay me out or wantonly destroy my self esteem with flames. Come on peeps get reviewin'!  
  
Chapitre Deux - Confrontation (don' worry, no violence.yet ()  
  
Harry stood there in his robes, and stood facing Ron's bed for about 5 minutes until Ron could gain control of his emotions. However sorry he felt for Ron however, he couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. Hermione! He had just shared his first kiss with the most special girl in his life, the only one he ever had feelings for. Moreover, it was special to him, for he felt that Hermione loved him for who he WAS, rather than Harry Potter the rich, Harry Potter the Quidditch champion, or Harry Potter the boy who lived. The kiss brought the silly grin back to his face as he kept going over the details in his mind. How ever his ahem..fantasies were caused a minor distraction when Ron wrenched the hangings open on his bed. Harry's smile faltered at the remote, icy glare of Ron's deep blue eyes.  
  
"Hey Ron." Harry experimented.  
  
No answer.  
  
"So, I um, well I guess you, well you know saw us." he reiterated.  
  
Still a lack of comment from his friend.  
  
"Well, I um it's just that.look Ron, I'm sorry. I know you fancy her too, but Ron, I lover her as much as you do. And well, I really don't want this to ruin our friendship. You know, like that stupid argument in fourth year. And I well.can I say something that might help you let go?" the boy offered.  
  
Ron gave a curt nod and still kept Harry transfixed under the beam of his frosty glare.  
  
"Well, if this makes you feel better. I think.I think.I think she loves me back," the last being said with a note of defiance as if challenging Ron to say otherwise.  
  
At this, Ron's eyes widened, and the veil of ice in his eyes disappeared. Underneath, there was something so deeply hurt, so utterly wounded and helpless that Harry's mind took a shift in thought and he longed to say something to help his friend deal with the loss.  
  
Ron must have sensed the shift in Harry's thoughts because he abruptly stood, walked over to Harry and looked at him eye-to-eye, virtually nose-to- nose, reminding Harry of Mr.Ollivander when he got his wand. Then in a harsh whisper;  
  
"Wrong answer, Harry. Tell me Harry, how does it feel, backstabbing a friend, hm? Were you two already snogging when I told you about my feelings for her? And if you were, why didn't you tell me?" he sustained, his perpetual glower at Harry firmly in place despite Harry's protests that he wasn't kissing Hermione before that day.  
  
"And here I am thinking you were my friend," he sneered, sounding oddly like Snape. "But no, the famous Mr.Potter, the boy who lived, the rich Quidditch champion has no need for friends. Dumbledore's pet, the pride of Gryffindor and the school doesn't need anyone except the girl his best friend loves, does he? No matter with backstabbing, I'll just take what's mine," he spat.  
  
"Is that what this is about? You're jealous?!?! Come on Ron, give it up! She loves me and anything you say or do isn't going to change it. Not one bit!" Harry bellowed in rising frustration.  
  
Unexpectedly, the icy glare dropped for a moment. It was replaced by a small, if strained smile.  
  
"You're right Harry. She does love you." He forced through his teeth, the odd smile still plastered upon his visage.  
  
"Thank God Ron. For a moment there I thought."  
  
"I mean, boy who lived, Dumbledore's pet, School champion, rich Quidditch champion, tragic hero.What's there not to love? I mean I thought at least Hermione would be smart enough not to fall for the faceless celebrity you are. Guess I was wrong."  
  
"DON'T SAY THAT RON!" Harry boomed in a voice dripping with rage.  
  
"What's that Harry?" Ron said in a softer but infinitely more dangerous voice.  
  
"SHE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM! NOT AS A FACELESS CELEBRITY RON! SHE'S MY FRIEND BECAUSE OF WHO I AM! SHE ALWAYS STOOD BY ME EVEN WHEN WE IGNORED IN 3RD YEAR! IN 4TH YEAR, SHE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND BEFORE THE FIRST TASK! SHE CONSTANTLY CONFIDED IN ME THAT SHE WAS SICK OF ARGUING WITH YOU AND NEVERENDINGLY RESENTED YOU! The way that I resent ever having a friend like you" he added as an afterthought, the rage rapidly draining out of him at what he had just said.  
  
Ron suddenly lifted Harry up by the collar of his robes and said. "Well if you resent me so much than maybe the celebrity and his wife-to-be should just leave me alone and get on with your lives. I think that's for the best. Don't you agree" He stormed out into the common room.  
  
As soon as he walked in everyone, who had been staring at the dormitory door, immediately averted their eyes. All barring Dean and Seamus, who met Ron's gaze, and beckoned him to sit down next to them. He could understand their sympathy, as Parvati and Lavender had just dumped them for Beauxbatons boys they met while in Hogsmeade. They talked to him in low voices about how he had to handle it and eventually;  
  
"Just Let go Ron."  
  
The voice came from the centre of the common room where Harry stood there staring at Ron while he talked with the two other Gryffindors. He glanced up and said with an air of disinterest, "Oh. You." He than continued his conversation with Dean and Seamus.  
  
"She likes me because of me Ron. She said she loved me because I was calm and caring and compassionate and because I looked good," he added with a blush. "She said I was cute and that she had feelings for me ever since she saw me first on the Hogwarts express," he reiterated, again with a note of challenge in his voice as he spoke.  
  
Ron looked up with an indifferent glance and sighed. "Get it into your head fool. I don't care. I don't care what your girlfriend's been telling you about your body right? Now why don't you go to the library and fuck her and we can all get with our lives while she orgasms upon your ah. "cute" body, trying to ignore the screams." (A/N I know this is a bit crude, but remember, Ron's angry, and he is well, unafraid of crude speech.)  
  
Harry and the rest of the Gryffindor's were shocked by Ron's insult, but even more so at Harry's answer.  
  
"Well at least then she'll be with someone that can buy her things rather than hand me downs from umpteen generations ago." Ginny, who looked like she was about to slap Ron instead turned her hands toward Harry. Fred and George too, were staring daggers at Harry and preparing to cause him grievous bodily harm. However the two were beaten by Ron himself. He walked up to Harry, looked him straight in the eye and said, "That hurt. That really hurt Harry." He then gave Harry such a glare of revulsion and hate that the latter backed away. Ron advanced. "Any chance, ANY chance of forgiveness or acceptance has now been torn to shreds Harry. I hope you're pleased with yourself because you just lost a friend. I hate you Harry Potter. I hate you." Harry, looking at Ron as the Weasleys, all four of them stormed out of the common room, knew had just lost four friends. He also realised, looking around at the disgusted glares and glances from the other Gryffindors, that he had lost the respect of everyone else as well. 


	3. Ron Lets Go

Let go  
  
Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to JK, none of its mine, yada, yada, yada…..  
  
Comments: My first fic! Plz review, and remember, flames keep me lovely toasty warm, so keep on flaming me peeps! Anyhoo, this is H/Hr with Ron angst, but don't get the wrong idea. I am an avid r\hr shipper, it's just that I felt Ron would be more jealous of harry than harry would of ron, if one of them got the girl…no goddess HERMIONE GRANGER!!! *sigh* Anyway, read and enjoy! Chapter 3 is da last one. I haven't received any flames even though I expressly asked for some. Come on, I'm getting cold here!  
  
Chapitre Trois – Ron Lets go  
  
The news of Harry and Ron's confrontation spread throughout the school like wildfire. The story being spread that Harry had insulted Ron and the Weasleys about how much (or lack thereof) money they had. The stories also told of how Ron had not resorted to violence and conducted himself properly when insulted, and done the right thing. Ron was in the right, and Harry in the wrong. However, most obscurely, Hermione seemed to be in the wrong. Any praise or adoration Harry had once received was now gone.  
  
Harry struggled to Herbology, a crowd of Slytherins and Hufflepuffs booing and jeering him all the way. It had been this way ever since that comment he had made about Ron and the Weasleys. He hoped at least the other Gryffindors would forgive him, but unfortunately, they seemed to agree with everyone else. Harry had been way out of line. Life was a living hell for Harry and Hermione, their affair the main topic of discussion at the tables in the Great Hall. Harry hoped that at leat, over time, wounds would heal, and he would be forgiven.  
  
He was right.  
  
"Let go Ron. Harry's apologised so many times to you but you still won't accept it. Hermione won't be yours. Just let it go dammit!" explained Fred, vehemently gesturing at Ron. "He apologised to us and we understand he said some things in the heat of the moment. But let it go little brother. It's over."  
  
"He's right Ron, give up. Harry got her before you did and you're gonna have to live with it."  
  
"I agree"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Let it go"  
  
"C'mon man, just give up"  
  
Ron had been hearing nothing but words such as those ever since Harry had apologised to him in the common room. He sighed. He knew Harry was genuinely sorry and really did want to get back to being friends with him, but there was still a dull ache whenever he saw either of his two friends, and the dull ache quickly became a searing pain whenever he saw the two of the m together. He always forced himself to look away form their often public display of affection, and after much mulling over and silent tears, he finally forgave Harry and the threesome became a threesome again.  
  
Or so it seemed.  
  
Ron stormed out of the dorm and down into the common room. He was going literally insane. He would fly into a mindless rage whenever he saw Hermione or Harry and would constantly yell at both of them. He had just run away from another confrontation with Harry in the dorm, about Hermione again. Ron was complaining to Harry that Hermione constantly put him down and yelled at him, and told Harry to tell her to leave him alone. Harry, with mild annoyance, had immediately repeated what practically everyone had been iterating all month: "Let it go". Immediately after the words escaped his mouth he fervently wished he could take them back. Ron looked Harry in the eye and without another word, stormed out. Harry, sighing, resolved to go down to the common room and work things out with his friend. He instead came on to another blazing row between Ron and Hermione.  
  
More appropriately, Ron was doing all the blazing at Hermione.  
  
"I don't get it Ron. I want to be with Harry and I still want to be your friend. Why can't you let that be?" Hermione was pleading in a small voice.  
  
"Which do you value more Hermione, my friendship or Harry's love. Huh? SPEAK!" he commanded in as loud a voice as Harry thought was possible. "SPEAK!"  
  
Hermione then caught sight of Harry and slowly, deliberately, almost as if pre-meditated, walked over and took Harry's hands in her own. She turned around to face Ron, and in a strong clear voice said. "Ron. I've been your best friend forever. I know you inside out. I wish it to remain so. But I love Harry. I love him. If you can't accept that….then you I don't think we should remain friends."  
  
Ron's wild, bloodshot eyes shot from Hermione to Harry and then down to the ground. He buried his face in his hands. "Just thought you ought to know. I'm leaving next week. I can't stand Hogwarts anymore I just can't. So before I leave I just wanted to…to...to,"  
  
Hermione understood and the three shared a bear hug, a reaffirmation of their once strained friendship. "Sorry," Ron whispered before walking away from the two.  
  
The day finally arrived. Ron announced that he would be leaving some time around midnight, as the next day was his birthday (A/N: dunno when it is, or even if it's during term, but there you go). He had indicated that he needed to be "set free from the crap, the bad the good, I….just need to…to go." Something in him seemed dead. He had spent the last week answering in monosyllabic verbalisations and grunts, serving only to answer yes/no questions. When asked where he was going he vaguely muttered "a better place than this", and would walk away. In fact, no one except Ron seemed to know where he was going or how he planned on getting there. No one asked. His eyes seemed grey, inwards, withdrawn. He had not cracked a joke or said a word in happiness, neither smiled nor laughed for the whole week. Even if Harry and Hermione believed Ron had let go, it was blatantly obvious to everyone else that he hadn't.  
  
The common room was full of Gryffindors, the hour was midnight, and Ron was going to leave in a few minutes, he seemed to be enjoying himself, and when Hermione asked him how he would get where he was going, Ron just gave an odd smile, and said "a simple spell. It'll get me where I need to go." Hermione was about to launch into a furious tirade about Apparating on to Hogwarts grounds before Ron indulged in a small laugh and said "No, I'm not apparating."  
  
Ron gave one last sad smile to Harry and Hermione and prepared to leave. Before he could though, the entire troupe of Gryffindors chanted: "Let go."  
  
Ron whirled around. Dean and Seamus were looking at him hard and saying Don't leave because of Harry and Hermione. You still have a future here."  
  
The other Gryffindors nodded in agreement. Harry and Hermione however, stood up and the realisation finally dawned on them. "You haven't let go have you Ron," accused Harry.  
  
"No," Ron muttered, staring at the ground.  
  
"I CAN"T BELIEVE IT! ALL THIS CRAP ABOUT "I'M OVER IT" AND "I DON'T WANT TO INTERFERE" WAS JUST A LIE! YOU'RE STILL NOT OVER HER! I CAN'T-"Harry's incensed bellowing fit was cut off by a small voice.  
  
"Let go."  
  
Ron gaped at Hermione at shock. This was the first time that she, she had said those words to him. He locked his gaze withers, and for a moment, time froze. He looked deep, deep into the eyes that had fascinated him since he was 11 years old, and into the bushy hair he longed to touch. The face he longed to touch. To kiss. A couple of feet away, they were worlds, aeons, apart. He looked at her lips and knew he could never have her, hold her, be with her. He could love her, but she could never love him. Having come to this awakening, he gave a small smile. He knew, for one brief shining moment, what he had to do. He pulled out his wand. Most of the Gryffindors thought he was going to attack Harry and pulled out their wands to disarm him. Harry blanched, and everyone looked at Ron. Hermione's mouth was open in a silent scream. He then did something which caused the mouths of the Gryffindors to open in relief, and Harry's expression to change to anger at the thought that Ron would threaten him. He started but Ron held up a hand.  
  
"Goodbye, my friend. I will see you soon. Have a good life."  
  
As Harry registered Ron's words and mumbled a goodbye and "see you later" Ron turned to Hermione and gave her a sorrowful, deadened, blackened smile.  
  
"Goodbye…my love"  
  
And before anyone could say goodbye or do anything, he shouted, "I shall be set free!"  
  
With one last sad smile at Hermione, he uttered the two words which would set him free.  
  
A flash of green light.  
  
He let go. 


End file.
